Brain Swap & Vampire
by malonkey1
Summary: Eoin and Yukari go on a strange adventure into the world of body-swapping.


Brain Swap + Vampire

_**This story was partially inspired by the Season II manga Chapter 25 (Ishin-Denshin), but events get a bit further out of hand in this one. Hope you enjoy –malonkey1**_

Early Morning, Eoin's Dorm room

"GASP!" Eoin gasped as he awoke with a start. "Oh, crap." He said to himself, as he got dressed.

Later that morning, on the way to the main gates.

Moka and Tsukune were walking together, as usual, as Kurumu ran up to Tsukune and proceeded to bury his face in her breasts. "Ah! Good morning, Kurumu," Tsukune managed to say, despite suffocation. Kurumu finally desisted, and as Tsukune's nosebleed began to clear, Yukari, Mizore, and Eoin walked up. They exchanged their greetings, as they had for the past week, and as they entered the main doors, Moka noticed Eoin's eyes had enormous bags. In fact, Eoin, who was not a morning person to begin with, looked almost dead, so sleep deprived was he. Eoin thought to himself, _What happened in that dream that woke me up?_

The rest of the day passed rather uneventfully, as many days do. Moka drinking Tsukune's blood, Eoin keeping to himself, alternating between broken Japanese and fluent English, Mizore watching Tsukune, Kurumu…being Kurumu, and all that.

Yes, all the interesting things occurred later that afternoon. Yukari was in the club room, setting up some sort of device, as Eoin walked in, violently 'air-guitarring' to his mp3 player. As he walked in, Yukari asked him, "What are you listening to, Eoin, desu~?" To which Eoin, after a few seconds, removed his ear buds, and responded, "It's ZZ Top!" A few seconds passed before Eoin noticed the machine on the desk, and immediately his interest was drawn to it. "What's this thing, Yukari? It's so cool!" He asked, picking the object up. "No! This is a highly sensitive piece of magically powered interpersonal instantaneous emotional communication equipment, desu desu!" Yukari said, forgetting Eoin's *'whiting-like'* Japanese skills. "Eh? What's that?" Eoin asked, his inattentiveness getting the better of his dexterity (which is poor to begin with), as he lost his grip on the device. The moment it hit the ground, there was a resounding BANG, followed by Yukari and Eoin stumbling out of the club room, coughing. "What the hell just happened there?" one of the two asked. "I'll tell you wh- Whoa! My voice isn't that deep!" Eoin(?) said, sounding very surprised. "Yeah, you…!" Yukari(?) paused, felt her(?) throat, and said, "Oh crap."

"It would appear that we have switched bodies," Eoin, in Yukari's body, stated.

"So, let me understand. You made a machine to psionically communicate your innermost feelings, the darkest, deepest corners of your very soul, the core of your heart, for the sake of bedding two of our clubmates, and you let me pick it up and toy with it?" Eoin asked, not relishing his newfound stature.

"Well, if you hadn't dropped it, we wouldn't be in this mess! And where did you learn so much Japanese all of a sudden?" Yukari argued.

"It would appear that although my personality and memory may have been transferred, but the internal wiring of your cerebral cortex remained the same, allowing me to use your linguistic capacity. I hypothesis that this newfound Japanese vocabulary may remain with me after the transfer back."

The conversation shifted between the 'scientific ramifications' of everything and petty argument for a while before Tsukune and company walked up to the clubroom. "Hello Eoin-san. Hello Yukari-chan! What happened to the clubroom?" Tsukune inquired, looking at the last few wisps of smoke filtering out of the room. "Oh! Uh, my-I mean his mp3 player exploded! I have to go wash the soot off of my face now. See you in a while? OK, bye" Eoin and Yukari both ran off.

Later, in the library…

"What do we do now?" Eoin asked, pretending to read an old manga. "I'm not sure, Eoin. Maybe I could put the machine back together, but I'd need my magic to fix it completely, and I can't let you try to use my powers untrained."

"Yes, yes I get it, magic belongs only in the hands of a mage, yada yada yada." Eoin replied over the top of a copy of "Mostly Harmless"

"Do what?"

"Nevermind. How about we just get this taken care of."

"'We'? What are you talking about?"

"I'd argue, but I think we should call a truce until we are back to normal."

So the two resolved to rebuild the Ishin-Denshin device, as Yukari called it. The first step was to find all the pieces. They began in the most logical place, the Clubroom. "Now, before we go in, let's review. When I am bored, nervous, or irritated," Eoin began, "I tap my fingers. I end almost all my sentences with," Yukari trailed away, and Eoin finished with, "desu desu," "Perfect. Let's find those pieces," Yukari said as they stepped in. "Pieces to what?" Mizore asked, popping out of one of the desks in the room. "Oh, hi, Mizore. We need to find the pieces to _oof_!" Yukari was cut off by a quick jab in the stomach. ["_Sh!_ Ixnay on the alkingtay! I don't talk to you guys normally!"] Eoin said in English, careful to avoid Mizore's pale blue gaze. "Are you two hiding something? You two are acting weird. You guys don't usually hang out." Mizore inquired, one brow raised. "Of course not, desu~! We just have to find the pieces to that mp3 player. Eoin said there was an important article he was writing on it, _right, Eoin?_" Eoin lied. "Yes. Have you seen any electronics lying anywhere in here?" Yukari asked, doing her best to have a thick American accent. "Yes. They were all swept into the garbage and taken out of the room while the scorch marks were being cleaned off the walls." This was met with a stunned silence.

"So what now? We can't exactly jump into the dumpster," Eoin asked. "I'm thinking!" Yukari snapped, throwing Eoin's arms up. At that moment, A red-headed girl with emerald-green eyes was walking by. This girl was unlucky, in that her eye was exactly where Eoin's hand (under Yukari's control) was headed. She stood up, after being firmly planted on her behind, and screamed, "WHAT THE HELL!" This girl was the notorious Kokoa Shuzen, bane of nearly all who angered her. "Oh, shit." Yukari said in response. "What? What's going on?" Eoin said, completely unaware that Armageddon had come early this year. "Oh my god! I am so sorry! I didn't mean to!" Yukari was silenced by the sight of Kokoa's trusty bakebake bat, Nazo Koumori. A mere instant after he landed in her hand, he transformed into a claymore. This was followed by Yukari's embarrassingly girly squeal as she ran for her (and, technically, Eoin's) life.

Eoin pursued the chase as quickly as Yukari's little legs could carry him, until finally, he could keep up no longer. A mere 2 minutes later, Eoin slowly panted his way out onto the courtyard, and was stunned to see an unconscious Yukari, and a _very_ angry Kokoa, hanging from a tree in a net that appeared to be fashioned from glowing yellow arrows, such as the ones on a geometry graph. "Yukari, wake up! Whate happened?" Eoin asked, still panting from trying to chase them. Yukari slowly roused. "I'm not sure. One moment I was running from Kokoa, and then I stopped for some reason, and said some English words, and that's when I blacked out." Yukari answered, still looking a bit groggy. "Damn it! Let me down! I'm not kidding!" Kokoa was yelling angrily, while Eoin pondered. "I got it! I'm a Sorcerer! I'm a Rakshasa, and I'm a Sorcerer!" After a while more pondering, Eoin said, "That means you can repair the Ishin-Denshin!" Suddenly, he and Yukari began to spasm uncontrollably, as Kokoa fell to the ground, the spell running out. At that moment, on the opposite side of the Academy, Tsukune and Moka were standing face to face. "Tsukune." "Moka-san." "Tsukune." "Moka-san." As they moved closer together, Moka made a move to bite Tsukune's neck, when she and Mizore, who was watching from behind a curtain, ready to interrupt, both fell to the floor, convulsing. Tsukune was about to get help, when he too, collapsed. When they all awoke, Kurumu included (She had just walked out of the loo when she went down), they found themselves lying in cots in the infirmary. Eoin woke up last. "GASP!" Eoin gasped for air. "[Ihsoys Xristos!] I remember the dream!"] "Eh? What's that, Eoin?" Kurumu sat up and asked. "My dream! I remember it! It was horrible! I was just sitting on my bed, reading, when suddenly, a tornado rolled in! It picked up my head, and plopped another one in its place, over and over, until it finally ripped my body to shreds, and as my eyes were pulled out of their sockets, I saw the same thing happening to you guys! Oh, it was awful, Kurumu!" Eoin recounted his tale. "Hm? My name's not Kurumu, it's Mizore." Mizore(!) corrected. "Oh, no!" Eoin stood up and felt his face. "Phew," Eoin sighed with relief that he was at least normal. As it turned out, Eoin, Yukari, and Tsukune were the only three who were unaffected. "Herm. Perhaps Yukari and I have built up an immunity to the effect, and Tsukune's human physiology gives him a natural resistance." Suddenly, Moka's body began to convulse violently, as her mouth began to foam. "Moka!" Tsukune yelled, trying to get closer, but being held back by Eoin and the nurse. "Tsukune, no! if you disturb her, it may only serve to worsen her condition. Our only hope is to repair the Ishin-Denshin! Yukari! Was there anything in that device that can't be found in your average household electronics?" Eoin asked, showing Doctor-esque resolve. "Yes. Just one thing. There was a magical power battery." Yukari answered. "Well, I'll be the battery. Let's get this thing built!" "But you can barely make a simple spell without fainting! It might permanently damage you!" Yukari yelled. "But if I don't, Moka will die! And if she dies, her mind will die, along with whatever body it's in!" Eoin said, as they all realized how many people could die.

As the group ran off, Moka's Rosary began to tremble momentarily, and then all was quiet.

In Eoin's room, Yukari and Eoin were hard at work repairing the device, while the girls were awkwardly trying to console a very worried Tsukune. "Don't worry, Tsukune. Yukari and Eoin will fix this," Mizore said, trying to sit straight, despite Kurumu's bosoms. Moka wanted to say something, but was uncertain if she should, given she was in Mizore's body at the time. All the while, Moka's body seemed to be getting sicker and sicker, with the seizures becoming more frequent. After an hour, Yukari and Eoin rushed out of Eoin's room, with the others in tow, and ran down to the infirmary. When they got there, Moka's body had reached critical condition. The beeping on the heart monitor was nearly inaudible, until it finally went silent. Tsukune immediately grabbed a small gray plastic object from one of the tables, turned a knob at the end, and jabbed Moka in the chest with it. "AH! OHMIGOD! TSUKUNE JUST STABBED HER!" The girls immediately panicked, until, "GASP!" Moka's body gasped loudly, as her heart restarted in response to the Epi-Pen, which Tsukune had the presence of mind to use. Eoin threw the switch marked "return", and everyone's minds formed a ghostly visage over their bodies, including both of Moka's minds, before they returned to their rightful places, Eoin caught a glimpse of Inner Moka, just before he blacked out. When he awoke the first thing he had to say was: ["was that real?"]

[[Boy! What a crazy day! But that's just life here at Yōkai Academy! This is Yukari, saying see you next time, when Tsukune gets the flu in Sick Day + Vampire!]]


End file.
